Parent of the Year Award

While I was working today, I heard a news report on the radio that made me quite upset. Let me preface this by saying I am not a perfect parent by any means. My temper comes out too often and too quickly when I deal with my kids, something I should really work on.

On to the story... There is a search for a missing 13-yr-old girl in the area, which by itself is cause for concern. But wait, it gets worse. Her mother reported her missing yesterday when she didn't hear from her daughter over the weekend. She last saw her daughter on Saturday when she told her mom (brace yourself...) she was going to hitch-hike to a nearby town approx. 50KM away, only about a 25-30 minute drive down the TransCanada highway.

Forget for a moment that the temperatures over the weekend were around -15°C to -20°C (that's 5°F to -5°F for anyone not onboard with Celsius) before the windchill factor, meaning any exposed skin would freeze in about 10-20 minutes. As a parent, what in the freakin' flames of Hades goes through your brain as you let your 13-yr-old daughter hitchhike her way between towns?!? And what was she wearing? According to the police report, she is "believed to be wearing blue or red tights, a red hooded sweatshirt and running shoes." Very appropriate clothing considering the weather.

I look back at my childhood and try to imagine what would've happened if I had just told my parents I was going to hitchhike from Raymond to Magrath (10 min) or even Stirling (5 min), let alone a 30-min drive. I can guarantee that scene would not have ended with me leaving the house.

Well, police now suspect the girl may have run off to Vancouver or Medicine Hat with a teenaged boy. I sure hope her mom had an insanely good reason to let her daughter go out, thinking she was going to hitch hike. I'm also sure it came as a complete surprize to mommy dearest that her little girl is off with a boy. What possesses a parent to let their kids do something so blatantly and asininely stupid? I could be wrong, but I really don't feel there is an excuse under heaven that would justify letting your child out under those conditions.

Do I LOOK Like a Freakin' People Person?!?

What is it about close proximity that makes people feel compelled to start up inane conversations? It would be different if I had chosen to sit next to you on the plane, but when we don't really have a choice, what social protocol dictates that you ramble on about everything that comes to mind? I don't want to hear about your political views, how much money you lost in your investments, how you feel about the weather, or comments on how attractive the local women are (or aren't). When I have my iPod in hand with one earphone in place already and am just waiting for the flight attendant to either give the announcement it is now safe to use approved electronic devices or to look the other way before I put in the other earphone, this is NOT my invitation to you to engage in pointless conversation.

On the way back from San Diego, the guy next to me went on for five minutes about how it was okay for the flight attendants to make jokes during their announcements, but pilots shouldn't do it (this really upset him apparently). On and on about how pilots have more important things to do than to be thinking of their next joke. Get a grip buddy...

Yesterday on the way to Vancouver, I had my laptop bag with me. I got it at a Subway convention, so naturally it has the Subway logo on it. I expect a certain number of the obvious "do you work for Subway?" questions, even the occassional "do you know Jared?" but this time it was "is that Subway like the restaurants, or subway like the trains?" Seriously?!?

"It's subway the trains. I love trains. I took engineering in university, but dropped out after the first semester when I realized it had nothing to do with trains."

For the love of baby seals everywhere, just stop talking to me when I'm trying so hard to ignore you. To paraphrase Dilbert, "I'm not antisocial, I'm anti idiot..."

Dead Man Walking

...okay, not so much dead as really really tired. The only thing I despise more than trying to find a parking spot at the airport is trying to sleep the night before a morning flight. Not because of excitement or anticipation, but because for some reason my subconscious decides to jump into overdrive. Like last night...

I went to bed just after my 10PM phone call with Dawn, followed by channel surfing. I set the hotel alarm for 5:30 (have to be at the airport by 6:45), set the alarm on my Palm TX as a back-up (because nothing says good morning like Darth Vader's theme song), then tried to go to sleep. FYI, Mythbusters is not conducive to sleep. The good news is that I did fall asleep during whatever stupid movie I stumbled across. The bad news is that I woke up a few minutes later, thanks to the jet turbine engine cleaverly disguised as the room's heater. My brain decided that was a nap so it was sometime after 1AM before I really went to sleep again.

Some time during the 4.5 hours of sleep, I had a dream in which I reset my alarm to 5:45 AM, and it was uncharacteristically vivid too. It was also very disturbing, not just because I was actually dreaming of an extra 15 minutes of sleep, but because that would really throw off my schedule. Then the real alarm went off, and I stumbled around the room with all the grace of a cheesy sci-fi movie zombie (that's probably redundant, not like there are several classes of zombie movies).

That wonderful experience set the stage for my love affair with long lines and stupid people in said lines. Apparently, Thursday mornings are when everyone decides to fly to the US. The line for customs stretched back past the duty-free shop and almost out to the check-in terminals. I was in line for about 10 minutes when a lady and her three-year-old daughter (just guessing on the age) cut into the line ahead of me. Curse you, social filter!! Were it not for you I could've offered to show her where the line started, since she didn't have her dog or cane with her.

Another thing that really chaps my hide is a parent who has absolutely no grasp of basic behavioral psychology and who gets steamrolled by a three-year-old. Cut-in lady was apparently the author of the book "Stop, or I'll say 'Stop' Again!" Let me illustrate with an example...

After she let her husband and other daughter (probably 6) cut in with her (and why not really), 3yr dropped her candy on the floor. 6yr picked it up and gave it to her dad. 3yr proceeds to pitch a fit as though someone was trying to do dental work with pliers and a Dremel without the luxury of freezing. Mother of the year says, "Just give it to her, it can't be that dirty." And dad, who left his spine in his other purse, gives 3yr the candy. Not a clean one out of the bag he was holding, but the wet sticky one he quickly brushed off to make sure it didn't have a hairball or anything. ("Dallas, if you don't have less on, you have...?" -kudos to anyone who can name that movie reference)

And speaking of morons, here's a quick travel tip I got from impatient lady in front of me in the security line (not to be confused with line-cutting mother of the year). If you want things to move faster, simply mention to the security officers that your plane takes off in twenty minutes. That serves as a friendly reminder that you are important and, unlike everyone else in line, you have better places to be while at the same time letting them know it's really their fault you are going to miss your flight. Your security officers will doubtlessly appreciate these reminders, as they did this morning. It's at times like this when I really want to make sure they know I'm not with stupid. "I heard her bet a friend $20 you wouldn't find the little plastic bag she hid before she got in line, something about needing rubber gloves... I didn't quite catch it all, just thought you should know."

Yikes...

You know what isn't conducive to a fitness routine? Excessive business travel. Since Feb 1st, I have been in Calgary for almost 4 days, and Vancouver for 3 days, leaving me at home for 3 days. I started out so well too, my first week was going great then my fitness train derailed. I know I have to kick myself back on track, but I find myself wiped out by the time I get home.

Let me illustrate... yesterday my Lego order came in (the Republic Fighter Tank). I have been scouring the stores for it since before Christmas, it has been Out of Stock on the Lego website since probably the 2nd day it was listed, I found it on Bricklink and ordered it last week. Well, I was so tired I only got about 40% of it done before Dawn pointed out that falling asleep while building Lego may not be productive.

Most of the time, the hotels have a fitness room. The photo below is of the "exercise room" at the Best Western in Coquitlam, BC. Yah, two stairmasters and an exercise bike from the late-70s/mid-80s. The picture doesn't really do it justice... the stairs go down to the first level, and I'm standing at the doors to the 2nd level hallway. It's like the maintenance guy got them up to the landing and decided he didn't want to take them any further.

Adding to the ambiance is the mirrored wall just outside the photo on the right, and the mirrored ceiling. Nothing says motivation like seeing your reflection as you collapse on the stairmaster. All the while trying to ignore the guests as they try to ignore you on the way to their rooms (if you're on the 2nd floor, you don't have a choice but to walk past).

"Mommy, why is that man crying?"
"Shh, it's rude to point, Timmy."

I figured it would be best to spare everyone the awkward moment. Anyhow, I know I need to get back in gear and get going. It doesn't get easier the longer I wait. I just need to make sure my hotel in Edmonton next week (3 nights) has a real fitness room...

My progress so far...

After setting my goal to run the 10KM in June, we left town for two weeks which really does wonders for a fitness routine. Now that we're home again, I sat down and worked out a schedule that takes me up to June 27th (race day). I have it all on an Excel file (4 tabs, including cool little graphs to show my progress on my Saturday "weigh-ins", calculation cells to project my weekly targets...). This is one of the side-effects when a computer geek decides to get physically active. Some who read this will say I'm much more than a computer geek. There's Star Wars geek, Trek geek, Lego geek,...

For my aerobic training, I'm going to alternate running and walking days. I walked two miles tonight and tomorrow I'll see if I can still run a mile (that was back in July, so my expectations aren't really high right now).

For my strength training, I borrowed an idea from the Perfect Push-up workout where you do 3 or 4 sets with decreasing reps in a 2-minute period. For example, if your max reps at a specific weight was 10, you would do 8 reps, rest momentarily, then 6 reps, rest, 4 reps, rest, 2 reps. You end up doing 10 more reps than you normally would have done, which is really handy for things like push-ups (or leg presses on the Bowflex) when you can't easily add more weights or resistance. If your max is 20 reps, then you would do 14, 10, and 6 in two minutes. I'd like to say it has been more effective for me, but this is Day 2 and right now all I can say is "ouch". I've never been one to bulk up, it's just not in my genetic make-up. I wouldn't mind getting some tone back though.

One of my other efforts (not really a goal) is that I have been mostly carbonation-free for a month now. It probably shouldn't be so hard, but that could have sometihng to do with the fact my beverage of choice was Barq's Rootbeer (sweet, sweet nectar). So, to combat the withdrawal pains, I'm drinking more juice now. I know I should drink more water, but it gives me kidney pains (which I should probably have checked out someday). I'm trying to ease my way back on the water wagon, hoping it will hurt less. I choose to think of it as my body's way of saying I should drink something with actual flavor in it. The Slimfast & ice cream milkshakes help too, mostly because that's the only way I can swallow the horse pills someone is trying to pass off as multi-vitamins. I've seen my grandpa force-feed smaller pills to his dairy cows. Each morning I stare at the vitamin in my hand, wishing I had one of those long metal "thingies" they use to force the pill down the cow's throat.

One of my resolutions...

I'm still not exactly sure I'm doing this under my own influence, I'm more inclined to believe Jedi mind control.

This year, I will complete the Raymond 10KM Road Race. There... I said it. Now I'm accountable for it. Anyone who reads this can now poke and prod as to how I'm progressing in my training (which I'm sure will commence sometime in the near future).

Let's check to see if this is an effective goal...

1. Recorded. Yep. And if I do enough posts fast enough, I can bury this post before anyone can see it :)

2. Specific. As specific as I can get it right now. The race is usually around the July 1st celebrations. When I find the specific date, then I'll post it here.

3. Measurable. Yes. The results can be independently verified... I either cross the finish line or I don't.

4. Positive. Yes. I will finish.

5. Stretching. I should probably do a lot of stretching, don't want to pull anything. Seriously, running 6 miles will be the longest I've ever done before. I'm not starting off with a marathon or anything, so I think this is the right balance between stretching and attainable for me.

I'd love to hear from any of the runners out there who have tips on staying motivated. Sometimes I have a tendency not even to make it out of the starting gates before I reach for the remote and a comfy chair. I'll be following Becka's Blog fairly closely, so hopefully that'll keep me fairly on track. I keep saying that I want to choose to be healthy before I'm compelled to be healthy, but then I never really change anything. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need more ice cream...

New Year's Resolutions

If you're like most of the population, you looked at your resolutions from last year and probably set them again for this year's resolutions because you forgot about them. If you had them written down, you're already in the minority. I'm willing to bet that for about 95% of you, your resolutions aren't really goals but more of a wish list.

I don't mean to be a downer, but for your resolutions/goals to be effective, they need to pass a few criteria. Effective goals must be:

1. Recorded.
If you don't write them down, your goals are just wishes. Writing them down is part of the process which makes you feel accountable. After they're written down, make sure you post them in a conspicuous place so you'll be constantly reminded.

2. Specific
Fuzzy goals yield fuzzy results. Make your goal specific to you. You're only competing with yourself, not with anyone else. Make it clear what you want. Don't use words like "if" or "try", they are counter-productive. Don't use percent goals (eg. 'I will earn 10% more this year'). Figure it out and use a real number ('I will earn at least $50,000 this year').

3. Measurable
Your goal must be measurable by you and at least one other person. This means "I will be nicer to the kids" isn't a goal. What you feel may be nicer isn't necessarily measurable by others. Instead, you could say, "I will give each child __# of positive comments each day." Have a specific date by which you will accomplish your goal. An example of a measurable goal would be, "I will weigh 200lbs by 1 Mar 2009." When I step on the scales on Mar 1, it'll be very easy to determine whether or not I have reached my goal and it can be measured by anyone.

A quick note on sharing goals with others. If you are setting a "Give up" goal (eg. no more chocolate, Diet Coke, etc.), then share your goals with everyone. The more people who will stop and ask how you're doing, the better. If you are setting a "Go up" goal (eg. to be #1 in your department), share it only with those who can actually help you. If you walk around the office telling everyone you're going to be #1 by the end of the year, you might find an increasing amount of resistance.

4. Positive.
Your goals must be written in the positive. Your subconscious doesn't know how to deal with a negative. Let me demonstrate... For the next 60 seconds, do NOT think about blue bunnies. Keep track on a piece of paper. How many times did you think about blue bunnies before I told you not to? After? If your goal is to stop eating chocolate, your subconscious acts like airport security with a photo of the most-wanted terrorist. Everything that comes in gets evaluated against your image of chocolate. "That's not chocolate, that's not chocolate, that's not chocolate... hey, that picture of chocolate looks pretty good." And soon, all you can think of is chocolate. Rephrase your goal in a positive direction, like "I will eat ___ # servings of fruits & vegetables each day".

Setting positive goals also means they are in-line with your values. If you value honesty, then robbing a bank is not an effective goal for you.

5. Stretching
Your goals must cause you to stretch and grow to some degree. If it was easy, you'd already be doing it. The trick is to set your goals so they are challenging enough to be motivating, but not so hard as to be depressing.