Bet You Can't Eat Just One

Remember the old Lay's commercials? "Bet you can't eat just one"... Well, I have found a flaw in my "One Thing" philosophy. One thing soon leads to two, then three... and before you know it, you're actively looking to get into better shape. Making time to get the workout in, planning the day to make sure you have time to work out, checking the iFitness app on the iPad to see what other exercises could easily and logically be added to the existing routine, drinking more water (technically, any water would count as more than I was drinking before), taking carbonated drinks off the menu (including my beloved Barq's Rootbeer), getting advice from friends and family who know way more about this stuff than I do...

I even had a salad the other day while on the road. Salad... as a MEAL. Granted, it was the unofficial Subway Taco salad (steak salad w/ crushed up nacho chips), but still... How many of you thought you'd ever see the day when I had salad on purpose? And not as a side either.

So let me voice a word of caution to any who may be considering a similar "One Thing" approach to improving your health. It's a slippery slope, my friends. I started out with every intention of keeping "one thing" to just one thing, but now I'm surprised at how I really do have time to fit in a regular exercise program. It won't be long before I become "one of them". You know what I'm talking about, those people who can't stop talking about it to everyone around them. They're like vampires (the cool ones, not the sparkly kind), once they're "bitten", they want everyone else to join in too.

So, as an incentive, I went to the Lego store and picked up...

...this. The Clone Turbo Tank. The catch? I can't open it until I get my BMI down to the top end of the "Normal" range, which for my height is 210-215lbs. My BMI right now is 27.7 and apparently needs to be under 25. Personally, I look forward to being able to tie my shoes and breathe at the same time, everything after that is just gravy.

Hello Endorphins, Where Have You Been?

I didn't get around to exercising yesterday, and found myself with some extra adrenalin and pent-up aggression so I decided to do a bit more intensive workout tonight. It turns out, I may need to find reasons to generate some bottled-up rage more often because I found my regular weight settings weren't enough and I ended up moving everything up a few notches. Granted, I will most likely pay for it in the morning, but it felt really good tonight. The frustrations are subdued, for now at least, and I feel great. This is the first time I have noticed the endorphin rush after exercising.

I can't say my results are conclusive after only one trial, but the data suggests there may be a direct correlation between effort put into the workout and the positive feelings afterwards. If my findings are consistent after a few more trials, I could be on to something here. Just think what something like this could do for the fitness industry!

One Thing

I have so many excuses as to why I can't/don't start getting into better shape, but usually it comes down to "I don't have enough time." If I'm on the road, I never feel like hitting the hotel treadmill when I get in. Honestly, this may be a good thing sometimes. Have you seen some of those gems?? State-of-the-art technology, straight from the early 80's... yah, it might be time to upgrade. Anyhow, to make myself feel better, I tell myself I'll do it in the morning before I go out, which has yet to happen.

When I'm at home, I have a new set of excuses. Can't do it in the morning because I don't want to disturb anyone's slumber, then it's time to help get the kids up, fed, and ready before kicking them out the door for school. Then I need to get ready for work, which on some days just means grabbing some hot chocolate and heading downstairs to the computer. After work, it's time for supper, time to drive kids to various activities, time to sow, time to reap, time for bed. The few times when I have miraculously started an exercise program, it comes off the rails when I head out of town within a calendar week.

Then I look at friends/family who somehow manage to get in shape while facing the same time constraints and challenges. I love them dearly, but I don't know if I'm worthy to even be seen in public with them. A good friend went down to Boston to run in a marathon. "You mean, THE Boston Marathon?" Yes, that one. I won't walk four blocks to get the mail, and you're running marathons (in my defense, what if someone sends me a large package? I don't want to carry that all the way home...). It's a bad sign when you're walking on the sidewalk and people pull over out of pity to see if you want a ride. She selects half and full marathons based on the cool stuff they give out. Wow what a coincidence, that's the same way I select breakfast cereal. I'd be asking if they had any shorter courses. "Do you have anything maybe around the block? How about to the end of the registration table and back. Heck with it, I'll just buy the shirt/jacket/towel/whatever on eBay later." I have a cousin who completed a local triathalon, another cousin and her husband who go running just for fun. You know the type, they post on facebook, "It was sure cold this morning, but I managed to get my 50km run in..." And by "cold", they mean -40c and winds of 80-100kph. Polar bears are staying inside to keep warm, but they're still running.

Realistically, that probably won't ever be me. But I'm coming to the realization (slowly) that I don't need to run a marathon (or hopefully, at all). I'm trying to implement a new policy in my life and it's called "one thing". It works not just for fitness, but for all the other areas of my life too. It goes like this, "What is one thing I can do today to improve in the area of [fitness/personal development/work/etc.]?" I'm not going to be able to do everything, but I should be able to do one thing, and that's more than I've been doing so far...

I Think I Have DMD

I've come to the conclusion I must have Decision-Making Disorder. I'm not even sure that's a recognized condition yet (probably isn't). On the bright side, they might end up naming it after me if I'm the first diagnosed patient.

I received a gift card for Christmas and spent an hour this evening wandering around the store, not able to make up my mind on anything. To put this in context, it's not like I got a card to the House of Tools or Ed's Vegetarian Emporium. No, I got a Best Buy card and still couldn't find anything. I love electronics, I'm never more than an arm's-reach away from a gadget. Be it an iPod, iPad, Blackberry, laptop... I always have something with me.

Small purchases have always been my week spot. I think I've spent more time standing in the aisle trying to decide which Star Wars Lego kit to buy than I did deciding to buy our house or the Ion/Aura/Equinox combined. Dawn seriously left me at the Lego aisle in Target once while she went to do her shopping, then came back after she was done and picked the sets for me because I was still standing there. I don't know why these little purchases become such a major-life decision, maybe it stems back to the newlywed days when we had to check our bank account balance before going to 7-11 for a slurpee.

So I wandered from one department to the next, trying to find something but to no avail. At first, the staff start asking, "Do you need a hand yet?" Then you start hearing announcements over the store speakers, "Security, check cameras in section C." Then I'd go over to Computers, "Security, check the cameras in section F." Until finally they give up trying to be sneaky and start announcing, "Security, that tall guy in the blue coat is over by the stereos now."

I'm not sure what the treatment is for DMD, if there is a treatment. Maybe I should've stuck it out and finished my Psych degree, then I could at least write a paper on it. Maybe apply for some study grants...

Somewhat Misleading

This could be a frightening look into the way my mind works sometimes. I saw this while I was out getting some supplies for our family Christmas Eve party, and I have to say this was a bit misleading...

The sign reads "Entertaining", but I stood there and watched intently for about 5 minutes and nothing happened. There are few things less entertaining than a bunch of bread loaves. Oh, and don't point that out to the staff either, they apparently don't think it's funny. I, on the other hand, got a kick out of it. But then again, sometimes I amuse fairly easily... 

Facebook Ads

I thought I'd put together a quick little post of facebook ads I've found. I've mentioned before, I'm not opposed to ads on facebook, I just wish they could somehow be more relevant. It's not like I haven't filled in enough personal profile information...

Grammar and spelling are among my larger pet peeves. I'm not perfect by any means, but I do know the difference between "whether" and "weather"...

And while we're on the subject of grammar, since when did "Hogwarts" become a verb? How exactly does one "Hogwarts"? If only one person does it, would it be "Hogwart"?

I seriously doubt this psychic has my answers. My questions include, but are not limited to:

-"Why don't we read about psychics winning the lottery?" And don't tell me it's because of some higher moral calling, you can't treat it like a business and say you're not interested in the money. $50 million on LottoMax is pretty tempting...

-"If you're psychic, why didn't you know I think this is a crock?"

-"Why do you need to advertise?" You'd think a psychic would know who to approach and when. You never get phone calls out of the blue saying, "Stop looking for your keys, they're in the drawer by the fridge."
-"Why do we read about psychics getting into car accidents?" Seriously, you'd think they'd see it coming...

I don't sprechen sie French. My language selection on facebook is set to English (only because 'sarcasm' was not an available option). That means other languages aren't going to be effective. With sincere apologies to Mr. Bennett and Mr. Hogg (this is in no way a reflection on the quality of instruction received), my French language ability extends to being able to read cereal boxes. That's it. I couldn't talk my way out of Canadian Sesame Street.

Yah, I don't parle Spanish either.

This one just about sent me over the edge. I can assure you that my pets do not have wishlists. Your pet doesn't have a list either. You are not a pet parent, you are a pet owner. The dog/ cat/ gerbil/ rabbit/ ferret/ whatever is not your child. He/she/it will not be offended if Christmas comes and goes without receiving a present. 

Why would I want to send a cake to Greece? Even if I knew anyone over there, they can get their own cake. I have never felt the urge to send someone a cake. That probably makes me a bad person, but I can live with that. I think I once made a pie for some friends in high school, but (and I hate to destroy anyone's preconceived notions about my culinary capabilities) the crust was probably premade and the filling was lemon pie mix. If you're reading this offended because I haven't sent you cake, rest assured you're not alone.

Vegan shoes? Really!? Are you planning to eat them? Are we going to worry about kosher shoes next? Is there a difference between vegetarian shoes and vegan shoes? I don't know if I'm ready for all the issues surrounding this...

Et tu, Brute?

Let me tell you of my experience at Best Buy last night (Sunridge in Calgary). I will preface this with my own disclaimer, I know this is not typical of all locations. In fact, pretty much every other location I've visited has been top-notch. This one, not so much.

Since Futureshop is dead to me (short version: don't offer extended warranties if you're not going to honor them), so when I needed to pick up a video camera for work, Best Buy was my first choice. It should have been a quick stop, I knew what I wanted so I should be in and out. If they had been busy I would have been more understanding of how things turned out, but it was the first real snowfall in Calgary and not many people were out on the roads. Let's face it, most people in Southern Alberta take a few days to remember how to drive in the snow, but I digress...

I made my way to the video cameras, checked them out, and found the one I wanted. Then I stood there for about ten minutes watching all the blue shirts/vests walk around the camera department like it was contagious. It's not like I blend into a crowd, so I have to assume they didn't want to see me. I finally decided to try an experiment...

I went and stood in front of the $1500 SLR digital camera and picked it up. Well, I barely had it in my hands before a blue shirt popped up and asked if I needed any help. "Yes I do, over here..." and I took him over to the video cameras, showed him the one I wanted and asked if they had any in stock. He checked the number on the tag and went over to the computer.

On his way, a couple asked him for help, so he spent five minutes assisting them. When he was done, he had to come back for the number again so he could check the stock level. The only thing keeping me in the store at this point is the fact I'd chew off my own arm before I went to Futureshop, and the next closest Best Buy is down by Ikea and I'm not going on the Deerfoot in this weather.

Good news, they have three in stock. The only problem is the computer doesn't say where they are. He went to the back under the pretense of checking for stock. I think he went for a break, because unless he opened every box in storage, there's no way it should've taken that long. When he came back out, I could've sworn he didn't have a 5:00 shadow when he went in, and does his hair look longer to anyone else?

He finally found the three boxes, in the locked glass case UNDER the display (in his defense, they were hiding behind another box). He rang it all up and sent me on my way... without taking the giant security device and cables off the box. Less than helpful. Not only will it set off the alarm as I leave, but there's no way to cut the cables without an acetylene torch.

I took it to the front cashier, who proceeded to ring it up in her till, even though I showed her the receipt.

"It's already paid for..."

She looked confused, like I had just asked her to tell time on a clock with hands or asked her to make change without using a calculator. "Is it an exchange??"

"No. The helpful salesman in cameras didn't take off the security device."

She still looked puzzled, but she removed it and was nice enough not to charge me twice. I guess I should be grateful for that at least...