I have come to the conclusion that there should be a mandatory skills/competency test for anyone who wants to use the self-serve checkouts at Wal-Mart. I'm not talking vector calculus or organic chemistry, just a simple English comprehension test with possibly some basic reasoning and problem solving thrown in. If you don't pass the test, not only do you not get to use the self-serve lane, but you also have to wear the cool pointed white hat.
Really people, how hard can it be? Take the item, scan it, put it in the bagging area, move to next item. Not rocket science. But apparently this simple process manages to elude the grasp of most of the people who were ahead of me in the line this evening.
I have resigned myself to the fact that I invariably select the longest line. It may look shorter, but something always happens and mine takes longer. Someone has to find a coupon, an item doesn't scan properly, the clerk has to call for a price check because the customer picked the one item in the whole store that doesn't have a price tag or a bar code. Tonight was no exception. There were two check-outs which were actually functioning (the others had lovely hand-written signs indicating they were out of order). The first was being used by two women, the odds should be good that two people could figure out the complex system required to successfully scan their purchases. However, this was not the case. They would scan an item, then put it directly into their cart. Then they tried to scan the next item, but the system wouldn't let them because it didn't sense anything in the bagging area. The poor staff member who drew the short straw and was assigned to monitor the self-serve area had to come over and explain it to them, again.
While that is going on, there was a lady using the second checkout. She would reach into her cart and pull out one vegetable and place it on the scale. Then she'd have to follow the on-screen prompts to select which type of produce etc. I'm not sure exactly what goes on the screen as I don't take produce through the self-checkouts, but judging from the puzzled looks and the amount of times she had to touch the screen for her single tomato, the computer was asking her to find the value of X using the quadratic equation. Once that one was done, she'd reach back into her cart and pull out a single cucumber and go through the process again.
I have learned that since the car accident, my stupidity tolerance has gone way down below my normal levels (and it was so high to begin with). This is not good, especially when I'm standing in line with my two items. I decided to cut my losses and go down to the express checkout. I'd have to say this had mixed results. Sure, the line was shorter and was moving along nicely... until the lady in front of me went to pay for her purchase
Seriously, who still uses cheques?!? And she was one of those who doesn't move from the register until she has entered the amount in her cheque register and balanced her account. Oh wait, it gets better... she waited until she was done balancing her books and doing her taxes before giving the clerk her requisite two pieces of ID. By this time my eye is twitching, veins are protruding from my forehead, "accidents" are being plotted...
The clerk waved to me to come forward, I'm sure he was trying to pressure Senora Speedy into moving faster. As he scanned in my two items, she stepped back in, nearly pushing me aside, saying she needs to find her wallet. How can you lose your wallet/cheque book in the thirty seconds between getting your receipt and taking two steps?!
"Oh, here it is in my bag."
That loud snap you just heard was the sound of my self-restraint breaking under the strain of rampant stupidity. I pulled out my debit card while she was still standing there, hoping desperately that she'd wonder what the strange thing was and maybe look into getting one for herself.
As I walked out, I passed the self-serve checkouts and for once I had made the right choice in bailing out into the other line. She reached into her cart and placed one lemon on the scale...
Really people, how hard can it be? Take the item, scan it, put it in the bagging area, move to next item. Not rocket science. But apparently this simple process manages to elude the grasp of most of the people who were ahead of me in the line this evening.
I have resigned myself to the fact that I invariably select the longest line. It may look shorter, but something always happens and mine takes longer. Someone has to find a coupon, an item doesn't scan properly, the clerk has to call for a price check because the customer picked the one item in the whole store that doesn't have a price tag or a bar code. Tonight was no exception. There were two check-outs which were actually functioning (the others had lovely hand-written signs indicating they were out of order). The first was being used by two women, the odds should be good that two people could figure out the complex system required to successfully scan their purchases. However, this was not the case. They would scan an item, then put it directly into their cart. Then they tried to scan the next item, but the system wouldn't let them because it didn't sense anything in the bagging area. The poor staff member who drew the short straw and was assigned to monitor the self-serve area had to come over and explain it to them, again.
While that is going on, there was a lady using the second checkout. She would reach into her cart and pull out one vegetable and place it on the scale. Then she'd have to follow the on-screen prompts to select which type of produce etc. I'm not sure exactly what goes on the screen as I don't take produce through the self-checkouts, but judging from the puzzled looks and the amount of times she had to touch the screen for her single tomato, the computer was asking her to find the value of X using the quadratic equation. Once that one was done, she'd reach back into her cart and pull out a single cucumber and go through the process again.
I have learned that since the car accident, my stupidity tolerance has gone way down below my normal levels (and it was so high to begin with). This is not good, especially when I'm standing in line with my two items. I decided to cut my losses and go down to the express checkout. I'd have to say this had mixed results. Sure, the line was shorter and was moving along nicely... until the lady in front of me went to pay for her purchase
with a frikkin cheque!!!
Seriously, who still uses cheques?!? And she was one of those who doesn't move from the register until she has entered the amount in her cheque register and balanced her account. Oh wait, it gets better... she waited until she was done balancing her books and doing her taxes before giving the clerk her requisite two pieces of ID. By this time my eye is twitching, veins are protruding from my forehead, "accidents" are being plotted...
The clerk waved to me to come forward, I'm sure he was trying to pressure Senora Speedy into moving faster. As he scanned in my two items, she stepped back in, nearly pushing me aside, saying she needs to find her wallet. How can you lose your wallet/cheque book in the thirty seconds between getting your receipt and taking two steps?!
"Oh, here it is in my bag."
That loud snap you just heard was the sound of my self-restraint breaking under the strain of rampant stupidity. I pulled out my debit card while she was still standing there, hoping desperately that she'd wonder what the strange thing was and maybe look into getting one for herself.
As I walked out, I passed the self-serve checkouts and for once I had made the right choice in bailing out into the other line. She reached into her cart and placed one lemon on the scale...
3 comments:
Remind me to not let you go grocery shopping
Wow. You did get a doozy last night. I have to say that self-service drives me crazy. I was at Walmart yesterday with my 3 kids trying to buy 8 items, all of which were small (carried them out in our hands). 4 of them were blades for my cricut, and the stupid scale wouldn't pick up that I'd put them on the bagging area. Drove me insane while I'm trying to keep my kids under control, and the Walmart person watching the self-service area was busy chatting it up with another Walmart person. Ugh!
Glad to know I'm not the only one who finds Self Check-out idiots annoying as hell. Or how about the loosers in the "12 items or less" line with an obvious 47 items in their cart!
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