Pet Peeve of the Week

"Thanks for your feedback. Over time, this information helps us deliver more relevant ads to you."

This is the message facebook gives after you rate the side-bar ads. Meadow muffins! I'm pretty sure they say this just to give us a false sense of hope. I've been rating those ads for as long as they've given me the option and I still get inundated with the same ads over and over again. To be clear, I don't have a problem with having ads on facebook. I'd rather see them get revenue from the companies placing the ads than from the users. I take issue with the fact that I consistently rate the ads which I feel are irrelevant to me, but they keep on coming.

Let me illustrate with a few examples...

I get real estate ads for wherever I log in to facebook as I travel for business, long after I've returned home. Sure, I'd love to have a house in Victoria, but it's not going to happen. I'm also not going to be looking at Toronto real estate any time soon. I'm getting tired of the political campaign messages too. I can't vote in Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, Grande Prairie, Toronto, Montreal, Victoria, Courtenay, etc., so please make them stop!

I don't need a criminal pardon in order to travel to the US. Unless I'm really oblivious, I don't foresee requiring the services of a divorce lawyer either. I don't drink, so I won't be contesting any DUI's and I'm tired of the countless alcohol ads. I don't want a chance to win passes to the Coors Light mystery mansion, or prizes from Smirnoff, or Molson, or...

I don't need to book a flight from Red Deer to Calgary or Edmonton. If I could get flights from Lethbridge, that would be helpful...

I deleted every application from my facebook profile which didn't involve communicating with those on my friends list, so all the countless ads for shooter games, Cafe Town, Farmville, Frontierville, YoVille, MafiaWars... go beyond annoying.

I had one for "cloud hosting from £5/month". Wow, did we really miss our target market here. Canada hasn't used pounds for a long time now, but thanks for the offer.

Why can't I get ads for things I might actually use? Would it kill someone to have a few Lego ads on the side? Maybe some buffet coupons I can download and print off at home?

I Don't Work Here!!!

When I was on my mission, I got used to having people come up to me in stores and ask me questions, thinking I was one of the staff. It's one of the risks you take when you wear a white shirt, tie, and a black nametag. But now, it just drives me nuts. Just because I'm wearing a shirt and tie does not mean I work here. Don't get me wrong, if you are trying to get something off the top shelf and I happen to be near, I'm more than happy to help. As a side note, it's very tempting to stand and ask one of the Walmart staff for "help with items on the top shelf" just because the sign says so. I think it would be fun to watch them haul out the step ladder and climb up, then I would reach up and help them get it down, just to see the look on their face...

The last two times I've stopped in at the Sears near the office in Calgary, people just walk up and start asking me questions. Last time, I was crouched down while looking for something on a shelf and I kept hearing someone's voice. I didn't pay attention to it because they weren't talking to me. Then it started getting closer...

"Excuse me."

I looked up at a man standing in the aisle next to me. My mistake, I shouldn't have made eye contact.

"Can you tell me where [insert obscure item here] is?"

I just looked at him. I find it's better not to say anything than to come out with the first thing that comes to mind, which, for some strange reason, is usually dripping in sarcasm. I don't think he'd appreciate a detailed break-down of how to recognize Sears staff, with their distinctive blue vests and nametags worn prominently around their necks.

"Do you work here?" He's starting to pull a little attitude...

"No." If I say much more than that, I'm not sure I'll be able to reign it in later... I stood up, he looked a little sheepish and walked off.

Yesterday, I went in on my lunch break trying to find a button-down shirt. Apparently XL means huge waist and short T-Rex arms. Unless you're an over-weight Oompaloompa, Sears doesn't seem to carry shirts in your size. As I'm looking, some woman comes up and asks me if I work here. I said, "no" and expected she'd just wander off and look for someone who did. No such luck.

"Could you tell me how to get to the upstairs?"

First, when someone says they don't work here, why would you continue your line of questioning? Do you just assume the answer you seek is part of the collective knowledge every customer (aside from yourself) possesses? Do you figure somehow I may have stumbled upon this well-hidden secret? How about I ask you, "if a train leaves Boston traveling west at 80mph at the same time a bus leaves Seattle traveling east at 60mph, where will they cross and at what time?" Or better yet, "What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?" That seems fair, doesn't it? I'll trade you one of your dumb questions for one of mine.

Second, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Sears in the Marlborough Mall in Calgary. If you are, you'll know why I nearly lost the end of my tongue trying not to respond. If you aren't, the fact that there is no second level isn't immediately obvious to you. However, anyone who actually drives to the mall can clearly determine from the parking lot that the entire mall is one level. There is no upstairs, unless you're a maintenance worker and you have to service the heating/air conditioning units on the roof.

So from these and many other similar experiences at Walmart, Futureshop (funny story, I once sold a computer to someone at Futureshop before they realized I didn't actually work there), Best Buy, etc., I've come to the conclusion I need to either:
a) stop shopping while I'm dressed for work (I'm not allowed to go out in my pajamas, so that would really put a damper on my available shopping hours), or
b) carry a handy reference chart to show people how to recognize real staff at various stores. Kind of like those "spot the difference" books for kids, a photo of me next to a photo of the store staff...

"Hmmm, he is wearing a shirt and tie, but I don't see the bright blue vest or a nametag. He must be on a break, let's ask him anyway..."