Calgary Spartan Race

Like so many other painful exercise experiences, this one started out with Jesse saying, "I know what we should do..." This was back in January and we had so many great ideas of how we were going to get in shape and train. Running, treadmill, cross-country, hills, etc. All of those would've been a great help, if we had actually done any of it.

I actually did run a couple of times in January, which turns out isn't quite often enough to prepare for the Spartan. I kept up on my kettlebell training, and now I know a few areas in my training schedule I need to revise in order to survive the Kalispell Spartan in May.

So, how did the race go? The official results haven't been posted anywhere yet, but I made it out in about 1.5hrs. I should pause to mention my 14-yr-old son completed the hurricane heat in about an hour. Anyhow, it started out fine, I kept up a nice comfortable jog long enough to get out of sight of the spectators then decided that was enough. Up hills, down hills, up more hills, then down again. Here, take this cinder block down the hill then bring it back up again. Now try it with a sandbag, and we found a steeper hill for you.

The rope net bridge wasn't bad, then we came to the monkey bars and the three attendants lied to us and said we were half-way done. Not nice. The trail portions had a lovely view of the Calgary industrial section right off Blackfoot Trail. Very inspirational to see all the back hoes and large machinery.

The over/under/through walls were fun, for me. Barb was cursing me as I stepped over the first one.

The 8' Wall was a challenge. "No, the white side is for the men". Huh?? What white side?? All I see is mud everywhere. Why not just say, "Guys on the right, girls on the left," that'd be easier. The ability to press a 32kg kettlebell did nothing to help me pull my sorry carcass up and over the wall. Thankfully Jesse took pity on me and gave me a boost.

Go over and balance on some 2x4s to make your way through another obstacle. Fortunately my legs are long enough I could straddle across two planks, which made it easier. Get to the tires, flip it over... then flip it back (memo to me: set one of these up in the back yard).

Scaling the wall was pure evil. The foot holds were caked with mud and the hand holds came to what seemed like my waist, but were probably a bit higher. I have to admit I didn't even try on that one. Fortunately I'm tall enough to hit the bell at the end while standing on the ground. I'll do the 30 burpees later.

What started out in the hurricane heat as a nice mini pond was by this point a mud bog. And it smelled like farm mud too. Great, time to do another obstacle with shoes weighing about 50lbs each now thanks to all the accumulated mud.

Barbed wire wasn't bad. Neither was wading through the water afterwards. The A-frame rope climb was challenging due to the lack of traction, but I managed to get over.

Almost done the race? Well, this seems like a great place to put the first water station. Seriously people, look at putting a few more of those in next time.

The vertical rope climb? Umm, no. Not going to happen. Jesse made it look easy. Trevor did awesome in the hurricane heat, but I just didn't have it in me. Add 30 more burpees to my tab. I'm good for it, trust me. I'll totally do those later.

Spear throw went well. DJ gave me some great pointers at our family reunion and I got it on the first try. The fire jump at the end was a joke. I saw photos from the Kalispell Spartan where they had burning logs that everyone had to jump over. In Calgary? A small pipe running off a propane bottle. Really?? It seems like you're just calling this one in.

The Spartan guy with the padded staff was fun. Tristan (my nephew) took his Spartan down during the hurricane heat. I'm not saying he managed to evade the staff. I'm saying he squared off, asked Mr. Spartan if he was ready, then took him to the ground. I opted for a less confrontational approach, but did make the Spartan move out of my way. Next time, I would LOVE to get a bunch of guys together before the finish line and do a proper haka (check YouTube for some NZ All Blacks rugby games) before we charge the Spartans and their little padded Q-tips.

So, for those of you who may be considering a Spartan Race (and I'd recommend you give it a shot at least once), here are some training tips. Don't think of this as advice from an expert, but rather as "I really wish I had done this to get ready."

1. Legs. Work them like there's no tomorrow. Then work them some more. Squats, lunges, jumping squats, jumping lunges, box jumps. I got up to doing 32kg squats and lunges, and probably should've done more sets each time. I tried doing jump squats with a 20kg kettlebell, which was a pretty good workout and would've helped even more had I been consistent with them. Carrying the sandbag down the hill and back up isn't so much about upper body strength as it is about getting your legs to take you back up the hill. the cinder block pull was tough too, but not quite as bad as the sandbags.

2. More running and cardio. I'm curious to see how someone with a very heavy cardio routine would do in the Spartan (and I'm not being a smart alec here). I think there was about 300m of actual flat course, so I'd like to see if all the spin class/body pump/ marathon training would really help. I'm going to try more hill sprints, cross-country running, running/burpee combos (run a lap, do some burpees, run another lap, do more burpees, etc.). It'll help my endurance, plus it might ease my conscience slightly over the outstanding IOU's I have on those 60 burpees. I need to make hills my friend because I hear the Kalispell Sprint has more hills (and is about a mile longer) than the Calgary Sprint.

3. Upper body. Pull-ups are my kryptonite and I need to get better in this area. The wall climb, rope climb, and scaling the wall, would've been easier with more (okay, any) pull-up ability. If you have access to a rope climb, take full advantage of it.

4. Work the core. I'm not sure exactly when I used my abs during the race, but I can sure feel them now. More kettlebell sit-ups are on the menu.

So, there it is. Despite all my grumblings at the time, I did enjoy myself. And I eventually took off the medal too. I seriously contemplated leaving it on... forever. I just turned 40, and this is the first medal I've ever received for anything sports-related. Participation ribbons in Jr. High track don't count. I did something I never thought I could do and I went past what I thought were my limits. Now I'm actually planning to run. I've signed up for the Resolution Run 5K in Lethbridge on New Year's Eve. I'm taking training more seriously. I even started drinking water (anyone who really knows me just gasped in shock).

See you in Kalispell on May 10, 2014!