Some of you may have seen the blog post from the Confessions of a Teenage Bride website. I've seen it shared on Facebook several times in the last couple of days. If you haven't, you really should go take a look because it's worth the read (find it here).
It's very interesting to read it from the woman's point of view, having tried the less-than-modest approach and comparing the two. There are two things I want to address in response to her article.
First: I hope the girls realize that the same guys who are checking them out as they walk down the school hallways in various degrees of immodest clothes are also making derogatory comments about you when they're alone together. I remember very clearly a time in high school gym class when a group of "popular" guys were in the locker room being very demeaning about a girl, who was part of their group outside the locker room, because of how she dressed. They weren't complaining, but they talked about her with the negative and vulgar associations you'd expect from the minds of grade 10 boys. When I hear the saying, "Dressing immodestly is like rolling around in the mud. You'll get attention, but mostly from pigs" I think of that group of boys. Nice to your face, but they'll use your back as a knife holder.
Second: I can't speak for all guys, I just know what I and the other guys in my group thought and felt. There are still those of us out there who really do think modest is hottest. Unfortunately, they don't make as much noise as the guys who are cheering and leering. Most of the time, because we're guys and have the social graces of a giraffe on roller skates, we don't know how to compliment a girl without coming across as awkward. "Hey, you look good all covered up like that" somehow just doesn't come across as a positive comment. Due to the general maturity level of that age group, if a guy were to express a compliment to a girl, there's a fear that others would see it as romantic intent. It was like that back when I was in school, and probably goes back to when the first boy asked the first girl out on a date. You talked to a girl, therefore you must "like" her.
Psychologists at Princeton University (the reference escapes me at the moment, when I find it I'll put it in), where a group of men were shown images of "scantily clad" and fully dressed women while being given MRI brain scans (and yes, they did find something in there). When the men viewed photos of fully dressed women, the areas of their brains associated with people and feelings lit up. Researchers found that the less the woman wore in the photo, more of the men's brains associated with objects and tools was active.
Now, before this detours into a discussion of "dress modestly because boys can't control their thoughts", let me stop that train right here. Girls, the point behind modesty is NOT to prevent the walking raging hormones known as boys from having thoughts and urges they can't control. That's a cop-out on the part of the boys. The point to modesty is that you recognize your own worth. You deserve better than to have some guy's brain put you in the same category as it does a hammer or a wrench.
So, back to the original article. I argue that modest really IS hottest. Who cares how the lowest common denominator defines hot? You are worth so much more than that.
