...okay, not so much dead as really really tired. The only thing I despise more than trying to find a parking spot at the airport is trying to sleep the night before a morning flight. Not because of excitement or anticipation, but because for some reason my subconscious decides to jump into overdrive. Like last night...
I went to bed just after my 10PM phone call with Dawn, followed by channel surfing. I set the hotel alarm for 5:30 (have to be at the airport by 6:45), set the alarm on my Palm TX as a back-up (because nothing says good morning like Darth Vader's theme song), then tried to go to sleep. FYI, Mythbusters is not conducive to sleep. The good news is that I did fall asleep during whatever stupid movie I stumbled across. The bad news is that I woke up a few minutes later, thanks to the jet turbine engine cleaverly disguised as the room's heater. My brain decided that was a nap so it was sometime after 1AM before I really went to sleep again.
Some time during the 4.5 hours of sleep, I had a dream in which I reset my alarm to 5:45 AM, and it was uncharacteristically vivid too. It was also very disturbing, not just because I was actually dreaming of an extra 15 minutes of sleep, but because that would really throw off my schedule. Then the real alarm went off, and I stumbled around the room with all the grace of a cheesy sci-fi movie zombie (that's probably redundant, not like there are several classes of zombie movies).
That wonderful experience set the stage for my love affair with long lines and stupid people in said lines. Apparently, Thursday mornings are when everyone decides to fly to the US. The line for customs stretched back past the duty-free shop and almost out to the check-in terminals. I was in line for about 10 minutes when a lady and her three-year-old daughter (just guessing on the age) cut into the line ahead of me. Curse you, social filter!! Were it not for you I could've offered to show her where the line started, since she didn't have her dog or cane with her.
Another thing that really chaps my hide is a parent who has absolutely no grasp of basic behavioral psychology and who gets steamrolled by a three-year-old. Cut-in lady was apparently the author of the book "Stop, or I'll say 'Stop' Again!" Let me illustrate with an example...
After she let her husband and other daughter (probably 6) cut in with her (and why not really), 3yr dropped her candy on the floor. 6yr picked it up and gave it to her dad. 3yr proceeds to pitch a fit as though someone was trying to do dental work with pliers and a Dremel without the luxury of freezing. Mother of the year says, "Just give it to her, it can't be that dirty." And dad, who left his spine in his other purse, gives 3yr the candy. Not a clean one out of the bag he was holding, but the wet sticky one he quickly brushed off to make sure it didn't have a hairball or anything. ("Dallas, if you don't have less on, you have...?" -kudos to anyone who can name that movie reference)
And speaking of morons, here's a quick travel tip I got from impatient lady in front of me in the security line (not to be confused with line-cutting mother of the year). If you want things to move faster, simply mention to the security officers that your plane takes off in twenty minutes. That serves as a friendly reminder that you are important and, unlike everyone else in line, you have better places to be while at the same time letting them know it's really their fault you are going to miss your flight. Your security officers will doubtlessly appreciate these reminders, as they did this morning. It's at times like this when I really want to make sure they know I'm not with stupid. "I heard her bet a friend $20 you wouldn't find the little plastic bag she hid before she got in line, something about needing rubber gloves... I didn't quite catch it all, just thought you should know."
I went to bed just after my 10PM phone call with Dawn, followed by channel surfing. I set the hotel alarm for 5:30 (have to be at the airport by 6:45), set the alarm on my Palm TX as a back-up (because nothing says good morning like Darth Vader's theme song), then tried to go to sleep. FYI, Mythbusters is not conducive to sleep. The good news is that I did fall asleep during whatever stupid movie I stumbled across. The bad news is that I woke up a few minutes later, thanks to the jet turbine engine cleaverly disguised as the room's heater. My brain decided that was a nap so it was sometime after 1AM before I really went to sleep again.
Some time during the 4.5 hours of sleep, I had a dream in which I reset my alarm to 5:45 AM, and it was uncharacteristically vivid too. It was also very disturbing, not just because I was actually dreaming of an extra 15 minutes of sleep, but because that would really throw off my schedule. Then the real alarm went off, and I stumbled around the room with all the grace of a cheesy sci-fi movie zombie (that's probably redundant, not like there are several classes of zombie movies).
That wonderful experience set the stage for my love affair with long lines and stupid people in said lines. Apparently, Thursday mornings are when everyone decides to fly to the US. The line for customs stretched back past the duty-free shop and almost out to the check-in terminals. I was in line for about 10 minutes when a lady and her three-year-old daughter (just guessing on the age) cut into the line ahead of me. Curse you, social filter!! Were it not for you I could've offered to show her where the line started, since she didn't have her dog or cane with her.
Another thing that really chaps my hide is a parent who has absolutely no grasp of basic behavioral psychology and who gets steamrolled by a three-year-old. Cut-in lady was apparently the author of the book "Stop, or I'll say 'Stop' Again!" Let me illustrate with an example...
After she let her husband and other daughter (probably 6) cut in with her (and why not really), 3yr dropped her candy on the floor. 6yr picked it up and gave it to her dad. 3yr proceeds to pitch a fit as though someone was trying to do dental work with pliers and a Dremel without the luxury of freezing. Mother of the year says, "Just give it to her, it can't be that dirty." And dad, who left his spine in his other purse, gives 3yr the candy. Not a clean one out of the bag he was holding, but the wet sticky one he quickly brushed off to make sure it didn't have a hairball or anything. ("Dallas, if you don't have less on, you have...?" -kudos to anyone who can name that movie reference)
And speaking of morons, here's a quick travel tip I got from impatient lady in front of me in the security line (not to be confused with line-cutting mother of the year). If you want things to move faster, simply mention to the security officers that your plane takes off in twenty minutes. That serves as a friendly reminder that you are important and, unlike everyone else in line, you have better places to be while at the same time letting them know it's really their fault you are going to miss your flight. Your security officers will doubtlessly appreciate these reminders, as they did this morning. It's at times like this when I really want to make sure they know I'm not with stupid. "I heard her bet a friend $20 you wouldn't find the little plastic bag she hid before she got in line, something about needing rubber gloves... I didn't quite catch it all, just thought you should know."
