Facebook Ads

I thought I'd put together a quick little post of facebook ads I've found. I've mentioned before, I'm not opposed to ads on facebook, I just wish they could somehow be more relevant. It's not like I haven't filled in enough personal profile information...

Grammar and spelling are among my larger pet peeves. I'm not perfect by any means, but I do know the difference between "whether" and "weather"...

And while we're on the subject of grammar, since when did "Hogwarts" become a verb? How exactly does one "Hogwarts"? If only one person does it, would it be "Hogwart"?

I seriously doubt this psychic has my answers. My questions include, but are not limited to:

-"Why don't we read about psychics winning the lottery?" And don't tell me it's because of some higher moral calling, you can't treat it like a business and say you're not interested in the money. $50 million on LottoMax is pretty tempting...

-"If you're psychic, why didn't you know I think this is a crock?"

-"Why do you need to advertise?" You'd think a psychic would know who to approach and when. You never get phone calls out of the blue saying, "Stop looking for your keys, they're in the drawer by the fridge."
-"Why do we read about psychics getting into car accidents?" Seriously, you'd think they'd see it coming...

I don't sprechen sie French. My language selection on facebook is set to English (only because 'sarcasm' was not an available option). That means other languages aren't going to be effective. With sincere apologies to Mr. Bennett and Mr. Hogg (this is in no way a reflection on the quality of instruction received), my French language ability extends to being able to read cereal boxes. That's it. I couldn't talk my way out of Canadian Sesame Street.

Yah, I don't parle Spanish either.

This one just about sent me over the edge. I can assure you that my pets do not have wishlists. Your pet doesn't have a list either. You are not a pet parent, you are a pet owner. The dog/ cat/ gerbil/ rabbit/ ferret/ whatever is not your child. He/she/it will not be offended if Christmas comes and goes without receiving a present. 

Why would I want to send a cake to Greece? Even if I knew anyone over there, they can get their own cake. I have never felt the urge to send someone a cake. That probably makes me a bad person, but I can live with that. I think I once made a pie for some friends in high school, but (and I hate to destroy anyone's preconceived notions about my culinary capabilities) the crust was probably premade and the filling was lemon pie mix. If you're reading this offended because I haven't sent you cake, rest assured you're not alone.

Vegan shoes? Really!? Are you planning to eat them? Are we going to worry about kosher shoes next? Is there a difference between vegetarian shoes and vegan shoes? I don't know if I'm ready for all the issues surrounding this...