I think it's time I made a confession. I've tried to hide it for a long time, but I figure people are bound to find out eventually anyway and I may as well tell everyone. I am an introvert. There, I said it. Feels good to get that off my chest and not have to live under the deception of a double life. In case you missed it, this is the part where you act shocked and surprised...
Growing up, I thought I was just shy (and I probably had that going for me too). Now I understand myself a bit more and that it's all about where I get, or expend, my energy. I always knew I felt more comfortable with a small circle of very close friends than with a large group of good friends. I really enjoy getting into thought-provoking conversations, which is usually easier with people closest to me. Small talk is emotionally draining and almost painful to me, I've never been good at it and I'd rather actually talk about something than "shoot the breeze".
It gets annoying at work sometimes when I'm expected to mingle and "shmooze" during big events while I just want to eat and get back to my room. Not that I don't like crowds. Crowds are fine, unless I have to interact with parts of the crowd. If I need to clear my head, sometimes I'll go to the mall because it's easy to disappear in the crowd and be alone to think. The kids thought I was crazy last year for going to the mall on Christmas Eve for some quiet time.
I'll talk to people if I have something specific to talk about. I'm sure this comes across as being snobby sometimes, but it really isn't. Snobby would be thinking that I'm too good to associate with anyone else in the room, and that's not the case at all. Being an introvert is more about conserving my energy for interactions I find beneficial. So rather than use up all my energy with small talk, I usually wander around and listen to other conversations, or just watch other interactions (and not in the creepy stalker way either).
Some people compare it to being in a hamster ball, but since I'm a geek I prefer to think of it as having my shields up. Some would rather beam down to the planet and check things out, while I'd rather stay on the ship and observe. Once I've confirmed that the conditions are favorable, then I'll lower the shields and join the landing party.
And here's a tip for all the extroverts out there, it really doesn't help when you poke the shields. You don't need to tell me that I'm being quiet any more than I need to tell you that you aren't. Being quiet isn't a bad thing, honestly.
Yes, I'm an introvert. I am more comfortable in my head than I am in a crowd. I can be alone in a crowded room, but that doesn't mean I'm lonely. I would rather talk about ideas than the weather. I know how to make friends, I just choose to make a few good ones. I find it much easier to write about what I'm thinking than to verbalize it. Sometimes I will "escape" to my phone just long enough to recharge so I can come back and deal with people again, even people that I really like. I don't understand how someone can be screaming mad and then seem perfectly fine only minutes later. I don't feel compelled to answer the phone when it rings, I may not have the energy to talk to the person on the other end. I don't talk to hear the sound of my own voice. If I'm not taking part in a conversation, it's because I feel I don't have anything to contribute.
Anyhow, my secret is out. I know most of you are shocked and didn't see this coming. I probably should've eased into this rather than just blurting it out like that.
Growing up, I thought I was just shy (and I probably had that going for me too). Now I understand myself a bit more and that it's all about where I get, or expend, my energy. I always knew I felt more comfortable with a small circle of very close friends than with a large group of good friends. I really enjoy getting into thought-provoking conversations, which is usually easier with people closest to me. Small talk is emotionally draining and almost painful to me, I've never been good at it and I'd rather actually talk about something than "shoot the breeze".
It gets annoying at work sometimes when I'm expected to mingle and "shmooze" during big events while I just want to eat and get back to my room. Not that I don't like crowds. Crowds are fine, unless I have to interact with parts of the crowd. If I need to clear my head, sometimes I'll go to the mall because it's easy to disappear in the crowd and be alone to think. The kids thought I was crazy last year for going to the mall on Christmas Eve for some quiet time.
I'll talk to people if I have something specific to talk about. I'm sure this comes across as being snobby sometimes, but it really isn't. Snobby would be thinking that I'm too good to associate with anyone else in the room, and that's not the case at all. Being an introvert is more about conserving my energy for interactions I find beneficial. So rather than use up all my energy with small talk, I usually wander around and listen to other conversations, or just watch other interactions (and not in the creepy stalker way either).
Some people compare it to being in a hamster ball, but since I'm a geek I prefer to think of it as having my shields up. Some would rather beam down to the planet and check things out, while I'd rather stay on the ship and observe. Once I've confirmed that the conditions are favorable, then I'll lower the shields and join the landing party.
And here's a tip for all the extroverts out there, it really doesn't help when you poke the shields. You don't need to tell me that I'm being quiet any more than I need to tell you that you aren't. Being quiet isn't a bad thing, honestly.
Yes, I'm an introvert. I am more comfortable in my head than I am in a crowd. I can be alone in a crowded room, but that doesn't mean I'm lonely. I would rather talk about ideas than the weather. I know how to make friends, I just choose to make a few good ones. I find it much easier to write about what I'm thinking than to verbalize it. Sometimes I will "escape" to my phone just long enough to recharge so I can come back and deal with people again, even people that I really like. I don't understand how someone can be screaming mad and then seem perfectly fine only minutes later. I don't feel compelled to answer the phone when it rings, I may not have the energy to talk to the person on the other end. I don't talk to hear the sound of my own voice. If I'm not taking part in a conversation, it's because I feel I don't have anything to contribute.
Anyhow, my secret is out. I know most of you are shocked and didn't see this coming. I probably should've eased into this rather than just blurting it out like that.
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