The new fall line-up brings mixed feelings for me. On one hand, I’m excited for my returning favorites; CSI (LV & NY, I'll watch Miami if there's nothing else on), NCIS, House, Chuck, Criminal Minds, Numbers… On the other hand, we’re going to be subjected to the stupid shows that won’t die. Please don’t be offended if I ‘dis’ one of your favorites. It’s not an attack on you, and eventually, you’ll get over it.
90210 is coming back as the “next generation”. The only positive I can find here is that at least Tori Spelling isn’t on this version. I’m not any more likely to watch it, but at least she won’t be in the commercials. Personally, I think 90210 is the combined IQ of all the show’s viewers.
Dexter moved from HBO to the cable stations. Oh, joy. Moral of this story: it’s okay to be a serial killer as long as you target other serial killers. That sounds like a positive family message. Gather the children, the show's about to start.
My biggest pet peeve with the TV line-up has to be all the variations on the Reality TV theme. I don’t want to watch reality. I want to get away from reality, that’s why I watch TV. And let's be honest here. Reality TV is about as "real" as professional wrestling. Some of the ‘gems’ that are coming back this season:
Moment of Truth (2nd season). Whose dumb idea was this? Let’s hook people up to a lie detector and see how they respond to stupid questions. At least Who Wants to be a Millionaire had some play-along value. Anyone who has taken behavioral psychology should be able to condition themselves into beating a "lie" detector. I'm fairly certain my 9-year-old nephew could do it right now.
____’s Next Top Model. Canada wouldn’t go in with the US war on terror, but we will jump on any ratings bandwagon that rolls through town. I think someone should tie the models down and make them eat a real meal. “No thanks, I just had a grape. I couldn’t possibly eat another bite.”
_____ Idol (8th season in the US, 6th in Canada. I hate 'em both). AKA, “The One-hit Wonders”. If you haven’t been religiously watching the show since its inception, could you name more than three winners? Sure, Kelly Clarkson is doing well, but she would’ve made it without the show. And Canadian Idol? Please, like any of them have a chance of doing more than their one gratuitous song written by someone else with talent and handed to them on a silver platter. Ever notice how many follow-up hits they have? I really hate it when someone from Alberta is on the show because then I have to hear about it everywhere. Bumper stickers, newspapers, radio, autograph signings… Seriously. When 'whatsizname' from Medicine Hat was on, no one in the city could use their debit/credit machines for 2 hours after the show because all the lines were tied up from people calling in to vote. I say let natural selection take its course and have them get record contracts the old fashioned way.
Dancing with the Stars (7th season). I would rather watch a wildlife documentary on feral chickens. Imagine a British voice-over, if you will (all wildlife documentaries are narrated by someone with an accent). “Here comes Chester, he’s the leader of the flock. Oh no! He’s charging the cameraman! Hurry! Get back in the truck!” Seriously, way better than a bunch of celebrities trying to rekindle their flickering flame of popularity.
Survivor (17th season). For the love of all things good and holy, let this die! Do you really think any of this isn’t staged from the beginning? It’s just coincidence that, other than the token players, everyone looks good in skimpy swimwear, right? I’m so tired of hearing people talk about the “shocking twist” they have every season. “Did you watch Survivor last night?” “I know! I can’t believe they combined the tribes!” “Really, I did not see that coming!” Seriously, it was barely a twist when it happened the first time.
90210 is coming back as the “next generation”. The only positive I can find here is that at least Tori Spelling isn’t on this version. I’m not any more likely to watch it, but at least she won’t be in the commercials. Personally, I think 90210 is the combined IQ of all the show’s viewers.
Dexter moved from HBO to the cable stations. Oh, joy. Moral of this story: it’s okay to be a serial killer as long as you target other serial killers. That sounds like a positive family message. Gather the children, the show's about to start.
My biggest pet peeve with the TV line-up has to be all the variations on the Reality TV theme. I don’t want to watch reality. I want to get away from reality, that’s why I watch TV. And let's be honest here. Reality TV is about as "real" as professional wrestling. Some of the ‘gems’ that are coming back this season:
Moment of Truth (2nd season). Whose dumb idea was this? Let’s hook people up to a lie detector and see how they respond to stupid questions. At least Who Wants to be a Millionaire had some play-along value. Anyone who has taken behavioral psychology should be able to condition themselves into beating a "lie" detector. I'm fairly certain my 9-year-old nephew could do it right now.
____’s Next Top Model. Canada wouldn’t go in with the US war on terror, but we will jump on any ratings bandwagon that rolls through town. I think someone should tie the models down and make them eat a real meal. “No thanks, I just had a grape. I couldn’t possibly eat another bite.”
_____ Idol (8th season in the US, 6th in Canada. I hate 'em both). AKA, “The One-hit Wonders”. If you haven’t been religiously watching the show since its inception, could you name more than three winners? Sure, Kelly Clarkson is doing well, but she would’ve made it without the show. And Canadian Idol? Please, like any of them have a chance of doing more than their one gratuitous song written by someone else with talent and handed to them on a silver platter. Ever notice how many follow-up hits they have? I really hate it when someone from Alberta is on the show because then I have to hear about it everywhere. Bumper stickers, newspapers, radio, autograph signings… Seriously. When 'whatsizname' from Medicine Hat was on, no one in the city could use their debit/credit machines for 2 hours after the show because all the lines were tied up from people calling in to vote. I say let natural selection take its course and have them get record contracts the old fashioned way.
Dancing with the Stars (7th season). I would rather watch a wildlife documentary on feral chickens. Imagine a British voice-over, if you will (all wildlife documentaries are narrated by someone with an accent). “Here comes Chester, he’s the leader of the flock. Oh no! He’s charging the cameraman! Hurry! Get back in the truck!” Seriously, way better than a bunch of celebrities trying to rekindle their flickering flame of popularity.
Survivor (17th season). For the love of all things good and holy, let this die! Do you really think any of this isn’t staged from the beginning? It’s just coincidence that, other than the token players, everyone looks good in skimpy swimwear, right? I’m so tired of hearing people talk about the “shocking twist” they have every season. “Did you watch Survivor last night?” “I know! I can’t believe they combined the tribes!” “Really, I did not see that coming!” Seriously, it was barely a twist when it happened the first time.
2 comments:
*clears throat* I like Dexter ... I am all about it being okay to kill people, as long as they are a bad person. I know ... that some how makes me a bad person.
It's one of the few shows Jerry and I can watch together and actually both enjoy. So no one's going to tell me it's a bad thing. It's one of the only things we have in common!
I'm all in favor of the bonding moments, but that still doesn't make it a good show.
Post a Comment