Monday, December 7, 2009

Resume Tips - Part II

I got another resume submission today, and I was somewhat surprised one single resume could point out so many items I missed in my first post. Seriously, it was almost like this guy had taken it upon himself to highlight exactly how many things I had overlooked. So I tip my hat to him for his efforts and will pass on these gems to you in the hopes you can avoid these mistakes as well...

7. Spell your name correctly. It's your name, for crying out loud. If there's anything you should be able to spell, it should be your name. My five-year-old can consistently spell her name correctly, so I don't think it's too much to ask someone applying for a job to be able to correctly spell theirs. No word of a lie. He introduced himself in the cover letter as 'wiaam'. It was only because his email address had 'william' in it that I was able to decipher his name.

8. After you figure out how to spell your name, put it somewhere on your resume! On a scale from one to drooling on your shoes or falling out of bed, how hard is it? I'm guessing he omitted his name so as not to draw attention to the fact that he couldn't spell it. All things considered, it was probably a good move. Misspell it once, and you could possibly call it a typo. But twice and people are reaching for your safety helmet and booking you on the "special" bus to school.

9. Find the frikin' Shift button on your keyboard. I don't care if English is not your first language, you can still figure out how to use capital letters when you write. I counted two capitals between four combined pages of cover letter and resume.

10. Do NOT use 'text-speak' anywhere your prospective employer could read it. When I read "thank u for your time", I have to wonder how flaming lazy you are that you couldn't type out those two extra letters. I'm sorry, but if Koko the gorilla can learn and use sign language I don't feel it's asking too much to expect you to type out the whole word.

11. Buy a dictionary, or see if they have a rent-to-own option. Go to Walmart and put one on lay-away. Find a spell-checker somewhere. Anything, I'm begging you. "Alot" is not a word. "Allot" is a word, and it means to portion out or divide. "A lot" is two words and the opposite of "a little". My applicant claimed to be fluent in "English and Arebic". I'm guessing he meant Arabic and not aerobic. Learn the difference between there, they're, and their. Once you've mastered those, move on to your vs. you're.

He indicated a desire to be 'sucessful', was responsible for 'biling' and bill payments, and also made the weekly 'squedules'.

I honestly can't think of a suitable line of work for this guy without somehow insulting those of that profession. Seriously, where do you stick a guy who can't spell his own name? Even if he has his name embroidered on his shirt pocket, he'd stand in front of the closet all day wondering which shirt was his...

4 comments:

Kelli said...

I just had to post an open position on Monster-makes me want to avoid opening my email. Let the "dumb" begin rolling in!

My two favorites of all time are: 1. "Attention to dettail" (seriously?) and 2. "Condom Inspector" (supposed to condominium inspector). Don't people have spell check?

Jenie said...

Thanks Gary, I needed a laugh this morning.

Anonymous said...

Love this, Gary! I'm the one who edits all resumes for the staffing company I work for, and I cannot tell you how many of these errors I come across on a daily basis. Thanks for the laugh.

Dan said...

Hahaha! U shold wrk n the trukin indsrty. their r sum grate speelrs out hear.