Only You Can Prevent Vaguebooking

Thanks to social media, I have a new pet peeve. It's called 'vaguebooking'. What, you ask, is vaguebooking?

Vaguebooking: An intentionally vague or ambiguous Facebook status update which prompts friends to ask what's going, possibly prompting friends to "Hide" future updates by the perpetrator.

I'm sure you know people who do this on a regular basis, hopefully you're not one of them. There's always someone who dangles just enough to keep their friends digging for more information.

Friend1: I'm so ________ [fill in the blank with angry/sad/frustrated/etc]...
Friend2: What's up?
Friend1: I don't want to talk about it right now.

Friend1: That was SO embarrassing!
Friend2: What did you do?
Friend1: I can't even talk about it yet, I'm still red

If you can't/won't talk about it, then why are you posting it?!? Either put in enough details so people know what's going on, or skip the status update altogether. Does it make you feel validated or important when friends comment on your cryptic status? Does stringing everyone along with breadcrumbs fulfill your need to be the center of attention?

I have a solution which will make everyone happy: Get a puppy. Seriously, they'll never judge you, they're always happy to see you, they never think your stories are boring, and they think you're the greatest person ever.

So to anyone reading this (both of you), you can help stop this online epidemic. If you are or have been guilty of vaguebooking, stop now! If you have friends who vaguebook, for the love of baby seals everywhere DON'T REPLY! Resist the urge, replying only makes it worse. The next time they post "wonders if it was worth it", "big surprise, can't tell anyone yet", or "that was a bad idea" leave them hanging. Seriously, even though it takes every ounce of self-control you have, don't even post a sarcastic comment. You can't extinguish unwanted behavior at the same time you are rewarding it.

I'm off to ... oops, I've said too much already.