I figure if the Christmas tree is up already, it must be safe to do a Christmas post. I got in trouble last year for not having a Christmas post, so this year I'll do a couple extra to make up for it. I'm going to start with my Top 10 absolute least favorite "Christmas" songs of all time. Let me first start off with a disclaimer; there is probably a better-than-even chance I'll end up listing one or more of your favorites, so as delicately as I can say it, I extend to you a heart-felt "Get over it!"
Every year I dread the Christmas productions, school plays, etc. because the music really annoys me. And for the record, putting the word "Christmas" into the lyrics doesn't necessarily make it a Christmas song. I submit George Michael's "Last Christmas" (and all subsequent covers/remixes) as Exhibit A.
10. Anything, and I do mean anything, by Dolly & Kenny
Granted, I'm not a country music fan to begin with, but they could be singing Handel's Messiah and it would still make me want to stick my head in the oven and crank it up. The warbling, the country twang (which is SO endearing at the best of times)... it's just too much for me.
9. The Twelve Days of Christmas
For a song which so repeatedly mentions Christmas, this one really has nothing to do with it. I side with The Oxford Dictionary of Nursery Rhymes on this one when they wrote, "that the[se] lines survive today... [is] an irreligious travesty."
8. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
It started out as a country song, so right away loses points in my book.
7. Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Or, "The Stalker Song". Encouraging children to behave because an old man can see them when they sleep or while they're awake. In today's society, that's borderline pedophilia.
6. Jingle Bells
Do you know why this traditional Christmas song has no mention of Christmas at all in any of its five verses? Because it was originally written for Thanksgiving. A minister named James Pierpoint wrote the song in 1857 for the children in his Boston Sunday School's Thanksgiving celebration. Let's give this one back to Thanksgiving, shall we? Granted, it has as much to do with Thanksgiving as it does with Christmas.
5. Jingle Bell Rock
This one is even more annoying. Is it any wonder why the spirit and meaning of Christmas is being lost when so many of the songs associated with the holiday actually have nothing to do with it??
4. Deck the Halls
At least this one hints around Christmas by mentioning the Yule tide carols and season. Aside from the fleeting reference, it seems devoid of any other redeeming qualities.
3. Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer
An American advertising executive wrote a poem for the department store Santa to give away to kids in the mid- to late 1940's. It turned out to be a big success and was later put to music and recorded by Gene Autry. It mentions Christmas Eve, but somehow singing about a picked-on mutant reindeer doesn't put me in the Christmas spirit.
2. Frosty the Snowman
I challenge anyone to tell me why this should be a Christmas song. Go ahead... I dare you. This one was actually written after the success of Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, trying to cash in on some of Rudolf's popularity. Sadly, it worked and now we have intentionally commercialized "Christmas" songs which have nothing to do with Christmas.
1. Winter Wonderland
This one probably bugs me the most, as it combines my hatred of winter with my contempt for non-Christmas Christmas songs. Why is it even considered a Christmas song? It talks about snow, building snowmen, and freezing your nose. What does that have to do with Christmas?! Freezing my nose (or anything else) doesn't put me in the Christmas spirit. I'd be ecstatic with the opportunity to celebrate Christmas in a warmer climate.
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