...is apparently BAD when you're talking about visits to the dentist. I figured the whole "every six months" rule was just so the dentists could have more job security, but apparently there might be some wisdom behind it.
I was sure he'd either burst out into hysterical laughter or just come in with a pair of pliers and start pulling out my teeth after checking my x-rays. Fortunately, I dodged a bullet this time and only need 3 small-to-medium fillings. I want to take a moment to reassure my dentist friends (especially Chris) that I am a changed man. I already have a tentative appointment booked for May '10, I'm a new convert to the 6-month interval schedule. If for no other reason than to avoid the cleaning process.
I have a theory that the cleaning guy is ex-covert ops who specialized in interrogation and information extraction. I don't know why they even bother saying, "let me know if this hurts" because short of morse code and charades, I was trying to communicate that fact to him any way I could. I'm not a fan of that scraping sound to begin with, but I can still handle the routine cleaning. But I'm pretty sure when the little hook thingy gets snagged on a tooth, the answer is not to pull harder. I'm sure he was bracing his knee against the counter for extra leverage so he could get more force behind him. I just about handed him the arm rests from the padded chair (which is not designed for people taller than ewoks). It felt like he was trying to remove my tooth with his cleaning hook. I kept trying to tell him I didn't have any information worth killing me for, but it just came out as 'ahghhghghghhaaahhghgh'... I felt like Han Solo in Empire Strikes Back when the stormtroopers brought him back to his cell after torturing him. "He didn't even ask me any questions..."
Then, if the physical trauma wasn't enough, he went for the guilt and said it was a good thing his next appointment cancelled so he could get everything done in one sitting. I get it, come in more often, point taken.
Now a question for my friends in the dental profession (Chris, Raph, Paul, Jon... ). What is it about having your patient's mouth stuffed full of dental instruments and your fingers that makes you want to carry on a conversation? Seriously, I can see the standard yes/no questions which could be answered by a simple head nod or "blink once for yes, twice for no", but I really don't think I'm in a position to comment on current events or whatever story is on CNN at the time. Unless you give me a text-to-speech keyboard, I'm just not going to be able to keep up my half of the conversation.
And what's the point of putting a TV screen in the ceiling if your head is right there the whole time?
When it was done, he sent me up to the reception desk and they gave me a toothbrush and the bill. I wanted to ask how much it would be without the toothbrush...
I was sure he'd either burst out into hysterical laughter or just come in with a pair of pliers and start pulling out my teeth after checking my x-rays. Fortunately, I dodged a bullet this time and only need 3 small-to-medium fillings. I want to take a moment to reassure my dentist friends (especially Chris) that I am a changed man. I already have a tentative appointment booked for May '10, I'm a new convert to the 6-month interval schedule. If for no other reason than to avoid the cleaning process.
I have a theory that the cleaning guy is ex-covert ops who specialized in interrogation and information extraction. I don't know why they even bother saying, "let me know if this hurts" because short of morse code and charades, I was trying to communicate that fact to him any way I could. I'm not a fan of that scraping sound to begin with, but I can still handle the routine cleaning. But I'm pretty sure when the little hook thingy gets snagged on a tooth, the answer is not to pull harder. I'm sure he was bracing his knee against the counter for extra leverage so he could get more force behind him. I just about handed him the arm rests from the padded chair (which is not designed for people taller than ewoks). It felt like he was trying to remove my tooth with his cleaning hook. I kept trying to tell him I didn't have any information worth killing me for, but it just came out as 'ahghhghghghhaaahhghgh'... I felt like Han Solo in Empire Strikes Back when the stormtroopers brought him back to his cell after torturing him. "He didn't even ask me any questions..."
Then, if the physical trauma wasn't enough, he went for the guilt and said it was a good thing his next appointment cancelled so he could get everything done in one sitting. I get it, come in more often, point taken.
Now a question for my friends in the dental profession (Chris, Raph, Paul, Jon... ). What is it about having your patient's mouth stuffed full of dental instruments and your fingers that makes you want to carry on a conversation? Seriously, I can see the standard yes/no questions which could be answered by a simple head nod or "blink once for yes, twice for no", but I really don't think I'm in a position to comment on current events or whatever story is on CNN at the time. Unless you give me a text-to-speech keyboard, I'm just not going to be able to keep up my half of the conversation.
And what's the point of putting a TV screen in the ceiling if your head is right there the whole time?
When it was done, he sent me up to the reception desk and they gave me a toothbrush and the bill. I wanted to ask how much it would be without the toothbrush...
3 comments:
teeheehee, without the toothbrush. Haha.
We've lost two hygenists to a better paying job at guantanamo bay.
Well, they'd be perfectly qualified. :) I bet they could get Osama Bin Laden to roll over on his own mother...
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