Tuesday, January 5, 2010

You Have GOT to be Kidding Me!

I saw something today on my lunch break that reaffirmed my dislike of small dogs (not that it really needed any more support). I had to pick up some supplies at WalMart and they had this little gem on the end caps near the check-outs...


Seriously?!? A Snuggie for pets?!? I'm going to let all you "pet parents" in on a little secret. Gather 'round, because this could change your life. Are you ready? Pen and paper in hand? Your little precious...

...IS COVERED WITH HAIR!!!

And do you know why Toto looks like a hairball with feet? No, it's not to bring out the color in his eyes. It's to keep the little waste of space warm.

I like how the box mentions that the snuggie "keeps you warm and your paws free!" Isn't that sweet... Here's a little gem for the folks in marketing. Sure, Lassie might be a genius at telling someone little Timmy got caught in the wood chipper, but that doesn't mean he's going to be reading the box any time soon. And why is it so important to have his paws free anyway? "If only I could get my paws out of this blanket, then I could use the remote and change the channel." For anyone who walked past and thought this would be something nice for your dog, I'm going out on a limb to say you also give presents to your dog for Christmas and birthdays, don't you. Come on, admit it... you even wrapped them.

I'm sorry, but if the little hairball needs a snuggie to keep it warm, you should probably take it to the vet and have it put down now. Trust me, you'll be doing it a favor. Imagine dressing up your little boy and sending him to school wearing a pink tutu. I'm pretty sure this is the equivalent for dogs. All the other dogs are making fun of your little mutt in the snuggie. Notice the dog in the corner inset with the "shoot me now" look... I don't know if you've seen those "I'd rather go naked than wear fur" ads, but they make me wonder what these dogs would rather be doing than wearing "the blanket coat with sleeves".

For hundreds of years, dogs have somehow managed to keep themselves warm without human intervention. Now people have pets instead of children and figure the little pooch needs a sweater or a blanket with sleeves in order to stay cozy. At the risk of sounding cold, let natural selection take its course. If your little puddle maker can't survive without wearing a snuggie, maybe that's nature's way of improving the gene pool.

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