You Know You Travel Too Often When...

...you check into your hotel room and find this

Yes, it's a census form. "If this location is your only residence in Canada..." No, this isn't my only residence. I really do have a home, honest! Just because it seems I'm hardly ever there doesn't mean the government has to track me down at the hotel. Just because:
-I can walk into the lobby and they hand me my room key on sight...
-I don't have to specify "no housekeeping" when I stay for two nights or longer, the staff already know it's a standing request
-The front desk staff knows when I use a new credit card
-Dawn walks out of the bedroom and gets mauled by the kids, I come home after three or four days on the road and get a "hi" from whoever is sitting on the couch

I don't think those are valid reasons to start having my mail forwarded to room 403.

Come to the Dark Side, We Have Milkshakes

I don't go to McDonald's very often any more, but I might start going a little more regularly now. Lemme e'splain. No, there is too much. Lemme sum up...

First of all, my former milkshake connection went and did something stupid. Not to be outdone by the new mini-Blizzard, DQ went and downsized their milkshake line up. "Just Right" my flabby tush!!

The milkshake they proudly flaunt at $2.99 is the 12oz small. Twelve ounces. 354mL. To me, that's a shot glass. Come back when you're serious. They took the medium cup, called it a large. The small is now medium, and they had to make up a new small because they didn't have anything that small before the change. Sure, "extra large available upon request". It just frosts me that I have to pay extra to get the cup I was getting before. The new large is around $5 and they don't even put the pricing up for the extra large. I want a job with DQ marketing. Apparently their advertising exec's don't have to be in touch, and get paid to go around making things smaller. Don't think I didn't notice the cones getting smaller. The minute you downsize the Peanut Buster Parfait will be the last time I walk through your doors. I'm not sure why you think "riDQulous" is a positive thing...

What does this have to do with McDonald's? Well, their large milkshake is still a large and costs $3.99. A large for the price of a medium at DQ (which used to be the small). Listen up DQ, my loyalty is only as strong as the best ice cream supply. When I can get more product for a lower price, then adios amigo. You are this close to being on my list, which is not a fun place to be. Just ask Futureshop... Okay, I'm not dilusional enough to think my shopping preferences have any effect, but it makes me feel better.

One day, I'll realize it's cheaper to buy my own ice cream and make the milkshakes/ blizzards at home, and I'll get more too.

Another Survey from Facebook

Every once in a while I feel sarcastic enough to take the time to fill out these facebook surveys...

Name: Gary Hamon
Birthday: yes, every year
Do you replace the toilet paper if you use the last piece?: Yes
Birthplace: Hospital
How many pairs of shoes do you have?: 3-4
Current Location: Downstairs in the office
Eye Color: Blue.
Do you weigh yourself often?: No
Hair Color: Brown
Can you tie a cherry stem in your mouth?: No, I can never seem to get my fingers in far enough
Do you dye your hair?: No
Height: 6'6"
Do you laugh aloud by yourself?: If something is funny
Right or Left handed?: Right
Biggest weakness: Needles. Needles and blood. Needles and blood and kryptonite
What is your favorite movie and why?: Star Wars, Star Trek, Princess Bride, Bourne Trilogy, Serenity,...
Biggest fear: I have a recurring dream where I find out at the final exam I had another class I didn't know about and never attended.
Do you take daily medications?: Does ice cream count??
Your perfect pizza: BBQ Chicken. Or Hawaiian.
What is the best thing you can cook?: Toast. Cereal (although technically I don't actually cook it).
Goal you would like to achieve this year: Time travel
Do you have any OCD habits?: Straightening the twisted cords on hotel irons.
Your most overused word or phrase on a messenger: Cool
Do you test the water or dive straight in?: Jump in, how cold could it be anyway...
Thoughts first waking up: What day is it??
Would you peek in someone else's medicine cabinet?: Depends, do they have anything good?
Your best physical feature: ear hair
Do you chew straws?: Only if I've eaten everything else
Your bedtime: what time is it now?
Do you iron your clothes?: Shirts, unless I'm wearing a suit coat.
Number of hours of sleep per night: not enough
What was your favorite childhood toy?: Lego
Favorite Drink: Milk, juice, root beer (trying to cut back)
Can you do the splits?: With bananas and ice cream
Favorite Food: Ribs, pizza, burgers, steak, potatoes, whatever else Dawn makes...
Can you keep a secret?: Yes, let me tell you a few :)
Favorite Restaurant: DQ, A&W, 5 Guys, Montana's, Tony Roma's...
Favorite Ice Cream: Tiger, Mint Chocolate Chip, Cookies & Cream
Do you drink?: See "Favorite Drink" above...
Do you smoke?: If I'm on fire...
Do you do drugs?: Just ice cream. I can't seem to find any tiger's blood.
Do you like to sing?: Meh
Do you like to dance?: Not so much
Describe yourself in three words: Tall, dark, and handsome :)
Do you believe in yourself?: Pretty sure I exist
As a kid who did you look up to?: Taller people
What did you want to be when you "Grew up"?: A Jedi
What do you do for a living?: Work
Do you like the rain?: The warm kind
Do you like Thunderstorms?: Yes
What's your fondest memory?: That one time, with those people... I don't recall the specifics
Have you ever shoplifted?: When I was about four, my mom made me take it back into the store though.
Do you have any tattoos?: No
Do you have any piercings?: No
Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?: Does a cruise ship count?
When is the last time you went on a road trip?: Define road trip...
What is one thing you refuse to eat?: Bugs. Multi-grain pasta.
What's your birthstone?: Huh??
What's your Zodiac sign?: "Out of Order"
What year did you graduate high school?: 1991
Do you have any scars?: Yes
What kind of car do you have?: 2010 Chev Equinox
What kind of car would you like to have?: Corvette
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?: Dawn
Do you like cartoons?: Clone Wars :)
What's your favorite smell?: Food
What do you do while you're driving?: My taxes, pythagorean theorum... the usual.
What's your favorite store to shop in?: The Lego Store, Toys R Us...
Do you believe in Karma?: She's my cousin, well 2nd cousin
What's your favorite number?: Whatever wins me the $43 Million on LottoMax
What's your favorite sport?: Like to play volleyball. Will have to start watching football soon if Rhys keeps going...
Have you ever lived in a different province?: Tried BC for a while, lived in Pennsylvania too.
Where would you like to live?: Somewhere warm
Are you a fast typer?: Compared to...??
Are you listening to music right now?: Yes
When were you the saddest in your life?: Any time we run out of ice cream
What does your CD player have in it right now?: What are these CD's of which you speak?? How old is this survey?
If you were a crayon, what color would you be?: Why/how would I be a crayon??
What is your middle name?: Danger. Trouble. Mud. Depends on who's calling for me...
If you could change anything in your past what would it be?: Find the Caramilk secret. Or the Colonel's secret recipe of 11 herbs & spices.
What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?: Anyone who says eyes is lying. Neither of the genders is genetically imprinted that way...
What's your favorite color?: Green. Or Red.
What's your biggest pet peeve?: Poor grammer. Stupidity.
Do you like the ocean? Which one?: Some are better than others.
Do you like roller coasters?: Do you like projectile vomit?
What was your first job?: Babysitting.
If you could visit anywhere where would it be?: Tattoine, the brochures look nice. Naboo might be good too.
Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?: Once, didn't realize it was a school zone until it was too late.
Do you wear contacts/glasses?: Not at the same time.
What's your favorite holiday?: Christmas
Have you ever fired a gun?: No, but I've fired 3 employees and 1 supervisor.
How many pillows do you sleep with?: Two
Hugs or kisses?: Getting? Giving? Where are we going with this? And who is on the other end?
Do you bite your nails?: No
Do you have any siblings?: They may not want to admit it at times, but yes.
Have you ever been on a plane?: No, but I've been in several
What is your current desktop picture?: Yoda
If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?: Probably the extinguisher
Do you swear?: Yes, to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth...
Are you a morning person?: Yes.
Do you like your job?: Yes...Most days
What was the first car you owned?: '74 Impala
Do you care what others think about you?: If you're in law enforcement, then yes.
The craziest thing you've ever done?: I have no recollection of that event...
What ringtone is on your cell phone right now?: Depends on who's calling.
What kind of cell phone do you have?: Blackberry
Would you like other people to see your survey answers?: That's a dumb question
Do you have any pets?: 2 cats (one on either side of the fireplace)